You to definitely feature which had been continuously said whenever revealing attributes of one’s most readily useful coming connection try a beneficial “husband” who was financially stable. Ladies shown more views on what they felt it designed to become financially secure. Particular females discussed the partner due to the fact only seller into family although some described its mate once the leading to the family funds. More often than once, women stated that it need lovers whom you can expect to “allow for united states.” People weren’t certain concerning the variety of employment or career you to definitely its greatest spouse would have, but have been very clear the job should provide “sufficient to shell out its bills or whatever they you need in daily life.” Another participant demonstrated their top companion a person that “…cannot owe a lot of people currency and then you are having fun with my money to spend him or her straight back; zero you should be financially steady, have a very good house, a great job, a good business…” Ladies including chatted about the partner are separate and not wanting in escort service in Newark NJ order to use them to possess one thing. That it offer captures these emotions: “I would would like them to achieve success, eg a person who may be able to become independent, version of. They will get up on her a few legs if i was not as much as.”
Goal dependent
In the even more in order to becoming financially secure, girls wanted the next spouse who had been “goal-based.” Even though they did not promote particular informative data on exactly what such requires should be, girls assented you to its top lover perform “should be encouraged to take action and their life. They can not take a seat on the sofa throughout its lives and you will manage little. Which is a huge situation.” Various other woman described it this way, “Basically provides my life together and also you dont, you must go, … I just require somebody who has its lifetime together with her, that knows what they need, what they’re undertaking … you just have to have your lead proper; you must have good head on your arms.” Once the various other analogy, one to lady revealed a future mate within these terminology: “You gotta enjoys prospective, your gotta actually have things going on having yourself as if We have anything happening having me personally, I am not going to talk to some body which is carrying out things shorter. So you now have getting things going for on your own one to will in truth build myself now have a description to even speak for your requirements.”
Discussion
Lady given careful and you may expressive statements about their relationship opinions. Whenever given the chance to mention the dreams and you may desires for most recent and you may coming relationships, women given self-confident depictions out-of relationship and you may relationships that have the ideal companion. This portrayal can be a bit compared with much current search and therefore too frequently illustrates Ebony women while the prone into risk engagement and you can substandard behavior (Sullivan, Childs, & O’Connell, 2010). Information learned from these interview in manners dispels the notion that every Dark colored female are not aware suit relationships qualities (Raiford mais aussi al., 2007). Females within decide to try discussed its most useful dating using terminology you to definitely depict self-confident thinking away from adolescent newest and you may coming relationships.
Better Matchmaking Relationship inside the Highschool
Parallels and you may distinctions have been both clear out of African american girls’ narratives from the an excellent relationship dating, now along with the future. Numerous themes emerged off their description of your top relationship through the twelfth grade: (1) temporariness away from senior school relationships, (2) that have someone exactly who shared comparable training and occupation agreements, and you may (3) significance of family relations inside the identifying an excellent dating. More templates came up within dysfunction of ideal coming relationship: (1) desire for wedding, (2) monetary balance, and you will (3) needs depending. Furthermore, in both its characterization of your own most useful relationship during high school and also in the long term, girl chatted about a desire for ‘best friend’ characteristics such as respect, trust, and you will trustworthiness. It’s encouraging to listen you to definitely adolescent Dark colored lady set worthy of on these features and you may definitely search him or her within personal matchmaking.
